


Undertale: Genocidal Feelings

by FloweyPowey



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Attempted Undertale Genocide Run, Pre-Undertale Genocide Route
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-02-22 12:48:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13167240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FloweyPowey/pseuds/FloweyPowey
Summary: This is a story that gives a little shift in point of view. It is a genocide that starts out with a pacifist timeline. Sans is falling in love with Frisk and goes out on a date with her but Sans has a nightmare about a genocide timeline. This leads to him talking to her about it instead of going on a real date. That morning after the date, everything is reset. Frisk isn't there and no one knows who she is. Then everyone starts dying from a human. Sans knows who it is and sits back as he watches Frisk kill everyone. Join Sans in his tormenting hell.





	1. Dreams and Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own any of the rights to undertale. All rights reserved by Toby Fox. I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoy writing it.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't own any of the characters within this work. Story and characters are owned by Toby Fox. This is a fictional recreation of the ideas within the game Undertale. Having said that, please do not post this anywhere else without my permission. Feel free to tell people about this and send links though. 
> 
> Edit: I have updated this chapter because I feel like it needed it. There is more content and fluidity to it. please enjoy and don't be afraid to leave me a comment as to how you like.

I wake up in a cold sweat. I don't know how that's possible since I'm a skeleton. My mind races. What was that? Undyne, Alphys, Tori... Paps, they all were... dead. My chest grows hot with a burning pain as the memories come flooding back from the dream. It was so real. I could feel them slip through my fingers. I felt their dust sprinkle over me like they were showering me with love. I watched their souls shatter into a million pieces.

No. They weren’t showering me with love. It was Frisk but they didn’t act like Frisk. Their eyes burned red with anger and they actually spoke to me. Frisk doesn’t talk. They told me that they had an accident from when they were younger and it hurts them to talk. I didn’t press any further because they looked like they were gonna cry. Then it hit me. The pain of losing everyone. Everyone I cared about. Everyone that mattered in this world was lost to me. I could never get them back.

I instinctively grab the front of my shirt. Something warm slides down my face. I wipe it away and that's when I realize that I am crying. I curl into a tight ball to try to keep the world out. I can hear Papyrus lightly snoring in the next room. Hearing him snoring made his chest ache worse. My pain grew until I couldn't stifle my sobs and they broke through my clenched teeth. Why? Why did I dream that? Was it even a dream? Why did it rattle me so bad? Hehe, this really wasn't the time for puns but it made the pain ease a little bit. It brought a little happiness that quickly faded.

I took a few shaky breaths to help calm myself. The visions from my dream ricochet around my skull. This causes me to have a hard time staying calm. I am finally able to take an even breath. I looked out the window above my bed. It was still pretty dark outside. I pulled out my phone to see exactly what time it was. Oh god, it was only 2 in the morning. I've only been asleep 4 hours. It could take me time to shake off that last dream and get back to sleep. I sigh. I guess there is sleep for the wicked... Some time passed and the pain in my chest faded. My mind calmed and I slowly faded back into an unrestful sleep.

My dream was close to that of before. The only difference is that I started in the judgment hall before the throne room. I didn't see anyone die this time but I know they have to be dead in order for them to be here. My eye sockets fluttered out. I can feel my rage boil up from my stomach. Seeing this kid before me made me lose control. They caused everything. All the pain. All the death. Why are they alive?

"Can I ask you one question?" I say, practically spitting the words at Frisk.

The kid just nods their head and I take a breath, "Why? Why did you do all this?"

In response to this, a chilling grin spreads across Frisk's face. They cock their head to the side in puzzlement. I know they understand but they still want me to explain it. I clench my fists and tears threaten to seep out again, "You know damn well what I mean. Why did you have to kill him? He was never going to hurt you! Why did you kill Undyne and Alphys? They only wanted to protect everyone from you. Then there is Tori. She was like a mother to you. You killed your own mother! What kind of person are you? Wait, are you even human? No, you aren't. You are what humans think is a monster!"

I couldn't help my voice rising and cracking from the strain. I don't yell very often. I'm actually a very quiet monster, compared to most. I hardly speak. But with all this, my emotions are raw and I couldn't hold my voice back any longer. All Frisk does is give an evil grin like before. As I was ranting their smile flickered a little bit when I got to Toriel. It was only a fleeting shift but it was there. They take a step forward and it draws my attention back to them, "Because, Sans, I like to see you suffer."

Then their face contorted in pain. It is only there for a second but it was there. I sigh, "You know, I could have forgiven you if you had killed everyone else but him. But that won't happen now, will it? Prepare yourself kid, you're about to have a bad time."

My fists relax. It's the funniest thing. I don't really feel like I can kill them but, it's not a matter of if I want to anymore. They sealed their fate the minute they killed Paps. I close my eyes, "It's a beautiful day outside; birds are singing, flowers are blooming. It's days like this, kids like you..."

My eyes flicker back on. My left eye gets warm with the building of my magic. I can feel the tingle of my magic crinkling through the air like electricity. I summon my Gaster Blasters, "Should be burning in hell!"

The fight is long. No matter how many times I hit them, they just load their save file. Over and over I kill this kid. I wish they would just stop. I don't know how much longer I can last.

Finally, they give me a moment's rest. We are both breathing heavy. I haven't done this much exercising in like ever. I just want this to end. I look at them, "Hey kid, haven't you had enough of dying?"

No response. "Well I've had enough of killing you. Just lay down your knife and we can just forget about all this. Let's go to Grillby's and talk this out. Come on kid, what do ya say?"

My left eyes grow cold once again and so does my heart when I see their face. Tears are streaming down from their eyes. They have such a pained look on their face. I guess they are still just a kid, after all. Frisk drops their knife. The sudden clatter makes my bones rattle. Frisk slowly takes a couple cautious steps forward. That is all they can manage before their legs give out. I run and catch their injured body. Frisk stares up into my eyes and stutters, "Sans... I..."

Frisk chokes on their tears. They wrap their arms around me and their sobbing shakes their body violently. They look like they want to disappear. They probably wish they could go back and change everything. In a way, they can.

Frisk looks up at me again and I pull them into a tight hug. They flinch at first but relax a little when they realize that I don't want to hurt them. I whisper in their ear, "Come on, kid. What is it? You can tell me."

I try to say it as gently as possible but it still comes out sounding harsh as it bounces off the pillars in the Judgement Hall. Frisk flinches again when I let go of the embrace. Frisk pushes away from me, making them stumble and fall. They fall hard with a loud smack. I open my arms again to show that I still offer a hug but they hesitate. In another timeline, they would have gratefully run into my arms. But this isn't like other timelines. Here, they are scared of what I'm capable of. They are scared of me.  
Frisk stands up and lets their arms hang limply by their sides, "Sans... I'm so sorry."

Their tears flow anew. There is no stopping them. I can't believe what I am hearing. They are apologizing. Why now? Why here? Then Frisk starts to run at me, screaming.  
They scream over and over, "Sans! Wake up! Come on! You've got to wake up! Sans!"

 

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My eyes come into focus as the lights in my eyes turn back on. I see Frisk standing over me. Without realizing what I'm doing, I can feel my eye grow warm. I grab a hold of their soul and slam them up against the wall. I hear the sickening crack of them hitting and denting the wall. Their eyes widen with fear and recognition. Last night starts to come back to me. Those were just dreams. That didn't really happen, did it?

I grow cold and begin to hate myself. My legs give out and I fall to the floor with a loud, hollow crack. My eyes flicker out. Frisk is by my side in seconds. I can hear them calling my name but it’s through a tunnel. They sound far away. Without knowing, tears stream again from the pain of hitting the floor and hurting someone I love. I don't want to cry in front of Frisk but I can't hold them back even if I want to. Frisk pulls me into a sitting position and a hug. They grip me so tight, I almost think they are trying to dust me. They pull out of the embrace and gently sign, "It's okay, Sans. There is no shame in crying. God knows how much I've cried."

I look up. Tears are streaming down their face. I did this to them. I made them cry. I gently wipe away their tears, "Kid, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean any of it. I was... just..."  
I stop. Scared. I was scared of Frisk. Why? I know them. They wouldn't hurt anyone. What is wrong with me? I've hurt someone I love, again. I hurt Papyrus before when he tried to pull me out of those kinds of dreams. He said I was screaming. He was so worried that he broke down my door. These nightmares need to stop but what started them? Why did they start now?

These nightmares started about a month ago. They have progressively gotten worse as time passed. Slowly it became more real. I could feel warmth or cold. I could taste and hear. Then I could walk around without feeling like I was guided by something. It felt like someone had a hold on my soul and was tugging me to and fro. Last night's nightmare was the worst yet. It's the first time that I actually had a conversation with Frisk that didn't end in them dying. It really hit home when they apologized.

I pull Frisk into an embrace. It seems like Frisk needs to cry too. They must be under some intense pressure. They had to fight their way to this part of the underground by themselves. They have been staying with us for a couple weeks now. Now that I think about it, these nightmares didn't show up until Frisk showed up. Hmm, there must be some connection. They all deal with Frisk, every time.

I'm pulled back to reality when Frisk pulls out of the embrace. They take my face and stares into my dark eye sockets. They give me a teary grin and I feel a warmth in my chest. Somehow that makes me feel better.

"Thanks, kid," I say weakly.

I still felt guilty for hurting them. That smile they gave me didn't help with that. It made my guilt rise into my throat with the bile from my stomach. I hate myself. I need to get a handle on these nightmares. I don't want to hurt someone ever again.

"Do you want to tell me what freaked you out so bad?" Frisk signs with a concerned look replacing their loving smile.

I hesitate. Should I tell them? How I watched them kill Papyrus? How I watched them kill everyone? No. They won't like it. It will only upset them more. I wipe the tears from their face, "Come on, kid. You know me. If I tell you, then I lose my mysterious nature."

I give Frisk my best try at a smile. I don't want them to worry. Frisk's face scrunches up into a pout. I know immediately that they don't believe me. "Sans. You know it's not good to keep things pent up inside. I hope you know that you can tell me and I won't tell another soul, right?" Frisk signs.

I sigh. I guess I have no choice. Frisk won't leave this alone. I just have to make them promise they won't ever tell Papyrus. If he finds out, I'll never hear the end of it. I decide to change the scenery first."Okay, you win. But first, let's get some breakfast at Grillby's. Just promise me you won't tell Papyrus. I don't want to worry him," I say calmly.  
Frisk looks confused, "I won't but you should tell him soon. If you don't, it will only make him worry more. I promise not to tell him."

With that, Frisk gets up. As they start to head to the door, I notice that they are wearing my pajamas. I chuckle silently as the bones shimmer on the blue pants. "Don't forget to get dressed," I joke.

Frisk turns to look at me with a playful grin, "I'm not you, Sans. I don't wear the clothes from the day before as pajamas." 

I am slightly surprised by their reaction. I forgot they had that side of them, a smartass. I chuckle and thought I would actually change my clothes for once. I grab a pair of jogging pants and a white t-shirt, not that I've ever gone jogging. I peel off the stiff shirt and slide the soft cotton over my head. The pants were harder to put on then I thought. I've been wearing my shorts for 5 days now. Oh well, I guess it's time to give those a wash. I slip on my slippers and head for the door.

Then I realize that I am forgetting something; my jacket that I never left the house without. I guess I do have a lot on my mind. I saunter over to where I left it last night next to the bed and slip it on effortlessly. I glance at my rumpled bed before I leave. As I step toward the door, the feeling of fear crept back into my mind. The cracked wall that I threw Frisk up against came with that fear. I am really gonna have to make this up to Frisk.

I met Frisk in the living room. Frisk has made friends with me and Papyrus. A more impressive feat is that they also became friends with Undyne and Alphys. It is quite impressive. Among other things, now Frisk can see my well-thought-out façade. Maybe it isn't a good idea to keep the kid around. Frisk has been staying with me and Paps since they got here. Things have become more friendly and bright. Everyone has become used to seeing a human walking around. No one thought that humans could get along with monsters. The only problem is that Frisk isn't like other children. They are special. The way their smile can warm your heart. The way they endlessly care. The way they stay determined.  
I can feel my cheeks getting warm. Why? Why do I feel this way even though I know what Frisk is capable of? No. That wasn't Frisk. That was something my mind thought up. There is no way they would hurt anyone. Frisk gives me a warm smile when I get to the bottom of the stairs. Yeah, there is no way that they could hurt anyone.

I hear a crash from the kitchen. I exchange a glance with Frisk, then we rush into the kitchen. Frisk beat me to the kitchen. They had stopped short and put a hand over their mouth. I don’t know if it was out of surprise or laughter. Upon entering the kitchen, I almost couldn't hold my laughter in. There is a dog running around the kitchen table and Papyrus is hot on his heels. For some reason, the dog had one of Papyrus' bones in his mouth. Papyrus is yelling, "You annoying dog! Give that back!"

Frisk couldn't hold back their laughter anymore and burst out. It made the dog stop and Papyrus trip over the dog. He runs right into the fridge, leaving a dent. I rush over to Papyrus to make sure he is okay. I am still trying to stifle my laughter, "You okay, bro? Took quite the tumble."

"Ugh, yeah. Did you get the bone back?" Papyrus askes dazed.

I openly laugh now, "That's what you're worried about? Pap, you almost knocked yourself out and you're worried about that stupid bone?"

The truth is that it disappeared when he hit the fridge. I shook my head, "You're so strong-headed, Paps."

Papyrus gave an audible groan, "That was terrible."

Frisk is rolling on the floor laughing."The kid seems to think it's punny."

Papyrus gave another groan, "Now my spaghetti is ruined."

"Sorry, bro. Frisk and I were gonna go to Grillby's for breakfast, anyway. We can bring you back something."

"Ugh, I guess I have no choice. My head is ringing I don't think I should be cooking," Papyrus says standing up.

"You gonna be okay here by yourself?" I reach out to steady him.

"Yes. I will just grab something from the freezer and go lay down. Have fun you two."

"Don't worry, we will," Frisk signs trying to stifle their laughter.

I help Papyrus to his room and make sure one more time that he will be okay before we leave. I guess I should check him out when we get back. As we head out, I lock the door behind me so that no one will bother him. 

In the underground, you don’t have to lock your door but the only problem is that everyone has developed the habit of just walking into anyone’s house. If you lock the door. Everyone knows that you aren’t willing to have anyone walk into the house and you don’t want to be disturbed. Especially Undyne. She loves just walking into other people’s houses that she knows very well. That is why I locked the door. I didn’t think that Papyrus should be disturbed at this moment. I turn to Frisk, “Shall we?”

Frisk give me a big grin and nod.


	2. Grillby, Ketchup, and Tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans gets a helping hand from Frisk. They try to get him to talk about his nightmare by heading to grillby's. It almost works but other things come out instead.

Frisk and I make our way through the snow toward the center of town. The walk is cold. Frisk ends up getting chilled to the bone. As we trek past the dark library, I relinquish my jacket. Skeletons can't feel anything anyway. Frisk thanks me with an irresistible smile. The fears still lingering from last night vanish almost entirely. My brain wouldn't stop thinking about the ever-increasing time skips. My eye lights flicker out at the thought. I know it's Frisk causing them to happen but I haven't confronted them about it. How can they do it? Why do they need to do it?

I shake my skull slightly. I don't need to think about this right now. I'm finally able to go on a date with the person I care about most. Well, other than Papyrus. No one trumps him. I've been having these strange feelings lately. When I'm around Frisk, I find myself blushing and having a hard time focusing. I lose the ability to speak when they smile. I lose the ability to even think when they look at me. Their laughter relaxes me like a trickling brook. I can't stop thinking about the cute way their butt wiggles when they walk.

Something blue and purple enters my vision. I run into something soft and fluffy. My eye lights flicker on as I look up to see Frisk smiling down at me. Oh. My. Asgore. I just ran into Frisk. Like in into them. 

Amidst my panic I hear that trickling laughter enter my ear holes, "You okay there, Sansy?"

We are stopped in front of Grillby's. When they call me Sansy, my knees go weak. Frisk catches me before I can fall all the way. Shit. Now they will know something is up. They are gonna figure out I like them. I scramble for an excuse, "Sorry, I guess my legs aren't used to the exercise." 

I fight the urge to wince. I think we both know that was scraping at the bottom of the barrel. Fortunately, Frisk goes along with it. They chuckle, "Well maybe you should exercise more."

"I don't know that I can fit that into my already busy schedule. I mean, I gotta sleep sometime, right?" I say jokingly.

"Okay, okay. Fine, you win," They give me another irresistible smile. 

I can feel my cheeks get warm. Oh shit. What is wrong with me today? Then, it clicks. The dreams. The dreams have changed things. Why did they have to come around anyway? Things have been fine. Things are going great now. It's just those images keep popping up. Those very real images of blood and dust. I can still feel the blossoming pain in my chest in that golden hall once again. I shudder at the thought of Frisk even doing that.

Frisk is looking at me funny, "Cold there, unfeeling skeleton?" 

I blush harder. Shit, she is gorgeous and really close to me, "Yeah... Let's get inside to warm my aching bones." 

Frisk giggles slightly, "Or is it to get you to take my focus off the deepening blush the more we talk?"

My eye lights flicker out, "What are you talking about? It's from the cold weather..."

I didn't get to finish my sorry excuse. Frisk took my skull with one hand and rubbed the blush with one thumb, "Then explain this?"

My jaw moves but nothing comes out. I don't have an excuse that would cover that. I sigh into their touch. I hold my hands up in defeat, "Alright darling, you caught me white-handed."

"White handed? You know the phrase is red-handed, right?"

"Yeah but I can't have red hands," I say wriggling my fingers for effect.

They looked confused for a moment then realization passed through their eyes. Frisk lets out a deep belly laugh that turns into snorts. I begin to worry and their face turns red. 

"Frisk, breathe! It wasn't that funny!" I say quickly.

They suck in a breath. The color returns to their face. I sigh with relief. 'Gosh, it wasn't that funny. What has got them so tickled?' I think to myself.

They look at me with their tear-filled eyes. That's it. I'm in love. Frisk has taken my heart right out of my ribcage. Their sea green eyes flash at me in the light. Their smile is brighter than the light that filters down from the ceiling.

I give Frisk a big smile, "It wasn't that funny, darling. Let's get you inside before you get chilled to the bone."

They give me another snort at my punny nature. I open the door for them and Frisk slips into the warmth of Grillby's. I stand in the snow for just a little longer. Frisk makes their way to our normal spot. They are stopped by several friends along the way. Frisk turns to look at me when they are talking to Dogaressa. They give me a little smile before turning their attention back. Frisk says something and I notice their face is flushed. Are they blushing or is it from the temperature change? 

Grillby fills my vision and I look up to see a scolding, disappointed look. Grillby is a man of few words but his facial expressions speak loud and clear. I'm never late for collection day because of it. Most monsters are scared of Grillby for good reason. I don't think even I can win against Grillby and I can almost beat Undyne; if I tried that is. 

Then I notice I am still standing outside with the door wide open. I step inside, letting the door fall closed, "Sorry Grillbz, I was lost in thought."

He raises an eyebrow and gestures at Frisk to say, "Yeah, lost in thought about them." I can only laugh at that because I don't have a better response. Grillby gestures toward the bar at the back of the establishment. I shake my head, "Not today Grillbz. We're gonna sit in a booth. I need to talk to Frisk about something and Papyrus can't find out. We'll just get the usual at that booth over there."

Grillby gives me a quizzical look before he hurries off into the kitchen. I sigh. I hope he doesn't think this is a date. He might because of the way I worded that. Or he might be worried that it is something serious. I weave my way through the people, giving hello's when needed, over to where Frisk and Dogaressa are still chatting, still. Don't all these people have something better to do? Some of them are even already drunk and it's only noon. 

Frisk looks so happy right now. I don't know that I want to ruin their mood. I sigh. Maybe I shouldn't tell because I don't want to upset them. No, I have to do this, now or never. They are the only person I can be myself with. I need to get this going before I lose my nerve. There is one singular thought almost makes me not do it. Will Frisk still like me after I tell them?

I finally make it to Frisk's side. Touching her arm gently, I draw her attention, "Let's get a booth today, sweetheart. That okay with you?"

Frisk shakes their head enthusiastically, "Yeah, that's fine with me."

Frisk moves suddenly to wrap an arm around one of mine. I flinch away slightly. Shit. No one could have noticed but I know Frisk did. Their smile wavers lightly but it never disappeared. Why can't I control myself today? First, this morning when I slammed Frisk against the wall. Second, blushing at the slightest touch from Frisk. Third, just now when Frisk took my arm. All three happened with Frisk. Can it just be them? Is the fact they were in my dream last night be the reason?

Frisk turns to Dogaressa, "I'll talk to you some other time."

They continue as if nothing happened but we both know it did. Man, I really messed up this time. They know something is up. No hiding it now. I lead them away from prying eyes to an abandoned, private area. I slip into the booth with Frisk right after me. I am surprised that they still were willing to sit next to me. I sigh. I guess I have to do this. 

Frisk looks expectantly at me, "Okay Sans, spill. What has got you so jumpy and unstable to be untouchable all of a sudden?"

I wince a little. They whispered but their words came out harsher than they probably meant to. I'm about to respond when Grillby saves me from making up a lame excuse. I smile, "I'll tell you after we eat. No sense in ruining your mood and the food too." 

Grillby gives me an interesting look as he sets a bottle of ketchup and some fries on the table. He leaves without any confrontation. Gosh, that man can be so nosey sometimes. Frisk still gives me a skeptical look but shoves a fry in their mouth with no verbal complaint. I pick up the ketchup. I smile at the label on the red bottle. This is no ordinary bottle of ketchup. This is Grillby's famous HOMEMADE ketchup. This stuff is special. Nothing else like it in the whole underground. It is sweet yet tangy. Somehow Grillby can get the blend of spices just right. I pull the bottle to my teeth, nearly shaking from anticipation. Finally, I savor the sweet taste crawling down my ecto throat. 

I am shocked out of my stupor by Frisk's snorting laughter, "How... do you always... drink that? I can't even drink it straight and I love ketchup."

I give Frisk a sly smile, "Well, you see, I've been drinking it since I was a little baby bones. I was maybe two or three. I was hungry so I went to scavenge from the fridge. I grabbed the first thing I saw, which just happened to be ketchup, and ate it. Since then, I haven't been able to stop. Sometimes Grillby will even make me shots with ketchup in them. Man those hit the spot. This one even has a little bit in there."

My story made Frisk almost pass out from laughter. Now, it's my turn to laugh. They regain their breath with a sullen look on their face. They turn and face me fully, "Okay, don't forget why we came here in the first place. spill the tomatoes, Sans." 

A smile broke through Frisk's mouth as they wiped ketchup off my teeth. I flinch slightly with them the sudden tough. I immediately regret not having my emotions in check. I flinched because images from last night flashed through my head. Frisk reaching forward reminded me of the last blow they dealt.

I grab Frisk's retracting hand, "Sorry, kid. It just reminded me of something."

A hurt look flashes across Frisk's face, "I'm not the kid you think I am. In human years, I can drink and am labeled an adult. What happened to you? How can you change this much in just one night? What was that dream you had last night?" 

I sigh. There it is. The look I was dreading. Frisk looks hurt but wants to understand and help. The funny thing is, I don't want help. I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to think about it. I don't want to hurt anyone else. I just want to forget. 

"Alright, sweetheart, you win. I'll spill but I have a question first. Why? Why do you care so much about me? I don't deserve anything that you give me." I say shakily. 

Frisk seems surprised and confused by this. She didn't answer right away. I almost wanted to tell them they didn't have to answer but they pulled me into a tight embrace. 

"Sans, I'm doing this because I care deeply for you. I want to help you. You always are sleeping or locking yourself away in your room. I love you, Sans. I don't want anything bad to happen to you," Frisk says, their breath tickling my neck. 

My breath catches in my throat. They care about me that much? Then, where did this dream come from? I feel worse for asking the question. There is no way this sweetheart is able to do those things in my dream.

"Sans? You okay?" Frisk says with a hand rubbing my cheekbone. 

I didn't even realize that they had moved from the embrace. I never returned it. I blink. Something warm runs down my cheek. At first, I thought it was Frisk's thumb but I realize that it is a tear. My face flushes. I look at Frisk's worried face, "Sorry. I uh... Got lost in thought. I ..." 

I don't finish. I don't deserve to love or be loved by this endearing and bright star. I will only diminish their light. Eventually, I will snuff it out altogether. In my dream, I had killed them 37 times before I woke up. This kid is stronger than they look but are exceedingly gentle.

"I'm sorry, I don't deserve your love or care. I'm a terrible person. I don't..." I'm cut off by Frisk grabbing my hand. 

"Sans, you don't get to decide what love you receive. Love is given freely and selflessly. I didn't choose to love you, I just do," Frisk says, pulling my skull to look at them.

Frisk leans forward. For a second, my mind panics. I'm taken by surprise when our foreheads touch. I thought they were going to kiss me. What relief that is. 

Then, a feeling washes over me. I wrap my arms around them. Frisk opens their eyes with surprise. I move to return the embrace they gave me earlier. I don't know why but we just stayed like that and I cried into their shoulder. I never tell them my dream and they don't ask again. We snuggle together all night after we go home. We fall asleep on the couch together.

When I wake up the next morning, Frisk is nowhere to be found. When I enquire about Frisk, Papyrus doesn't know who I'm talking about. What the hell is going on?


	3. Dusty Lungs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans finds Frisk again but not in the way he wanted. Things just keep piling up on him, even the dust.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own any of the characters mentioned or used here. All rights are reserved by Toby Fox. This work is done by me. Please don't use this anywhere without my permission. Please don't use it anywhere else. I have worked really hard on this and many all-nighters.

Everything feels wrong. Without Frisk here, everything feels completely different. Everything is devoid of color. Everything is devoid of hope. My happiness has escaped me. I didn't realize how much they kept me calm. Nothing makes sense. Usually, the resets happen when something happens that Frisk didn't want to happen; or their death. Neither of those things happened. Or did it?  
I take a deep breath before I hyperventilate. A heavy, gloved hand comes down on my shoulder. The force throws me out of my haze. I look up to see a worried Papyrus, "ARE YOU ALRIGHT, BROTHER? YOU LOOK PALER THAN USUAL. YOU ARE ALSO COVERED IN THIS SWEAT-LIKE FILM. ARE YOU GETTING SICK? IF SO, THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL NURSE YOU BACK TO HEALTH!"  
Papyrus' usual boisterous voice echoes in my skull. I can always count on Papyrus to be there for me. I can always trust that he won't change. I smile at Papyrus. I hope he never does, "Don't worry, Paps. I'm fine. I just had a weird dream," I say as confidently as I can.  
I hate lying to him but I don't think I can explain this in terms that he will understand. I don't think even I understand what is going on right now. My confidence wavers under Papyrus' skeptical glare, "ARE YOU SURE BROTHER? I DON'T WANT YOU GETTING WORSE WHEN WE GO LOOKING FOR HUMANS."  
I shake my head, "I'm sure. I'll be fine. Plus, the exercise will do me good. I've been meaning to do some more."  
Papyrus brightens up. At the mention of me doing actual exercise, he can't help but get excited. His fears from a moment before having completely disappeared. It is replaced with joy. Surprise then replaces that when he looks over at the clock behind me, "BROTHER! WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE AT OUR POSTS HALF AN HOUR AGO! WE MUST LEAVE NOW. WHAT IF WE MISS A HUMAN?"  
Papyrus picks me up before I can respond and heads out the door. There is no arguing with him. Once he sets his mind on something, there is no changing it. Sometimes that gets him in a lot of trouble. One time, he wanted to make peanut butter and peppermint cookies for Doggamy and Dogaressa. Oh, they were so mad. They couldn't smell straight for a week! It was the worst thing that's ever happened.  
Since Papyrus is carrying me, might as well conserve energy. I might need it later. Right now, I have to keep a look out for when Frisk comes out of the Ruins. They should be appearing soon. Gotta prepare for them. The only problem is, I keep getting this awful feeling like things won't be that easy.  
Papyrus leaves me at my station with a warning to not fall asleep. I don't think I can ever sleep again. I don't want to lose someone else I care about. Every time I fall asleep, something terrible happens. At first, it was just the nightmares. Now, time reset completely back to before Frisk showed up. I never thought I would miss them this much. Why did they leave me? Was it something I did or said?  
I get up from my station and start to head to the Ruins. As I walk over the bridge, my right eye starts to ache. This eye hasn't worked for years. Why now? A few years before, I lost control of my magic and it had to escape somehow. For skeletons, our eyes are a direct link to our souls. Our souls are the very core of our being and hold all of our magic. So when my magic exploded, I was very lucky that I didn't go completely blind.  
The pain intensifies the closer I get to the door to the Ruins. It's like someone is scraping a knife around in my socket. I squeeze my eyes shut. Blurry images form across my vision. It looks like Frisk is fighting a goat monster. At first, I thought it was Asgore but then I hear the kid call out her name, "Toriel".  
I fall to my knees as the pain intensifies. Frisk... no, that looks nothing like Frisk. Their eyes are red with bloodlust and murder is on their lips. A knife is poised in their hand; pointed at Toriel. She has an angry stance about her. That doesn't seem like her either. Her voice was always so gentle and loving when I talked to her.  
Now I see the red streaks staining her pure white fur. Frisk lunges at Toriel. She barely gets out of the way in time. A maniacal laughter escapes Frisk's lips. Toriel counters them with her own flame attack. Frisk dodges it easily. Why are they so strong? Then the thought hits me. They probably killed everything in the Ruins already. This isn't Frisk. This can't be Frisk. I won't believe it. It can't be. I won't accept it.  
Then "Frisk" attacks again but this time, Toriel can't get out of the way in time. I watch in horror as "Frisk's" knife slices through Toriel like butter. Toriel gasps and my breath leaves my lungs. No. No. NO! I scream into the cold and frozen air. I can feel my heart start to ice over like the ground I'm kneeling on.  
The grin on "Frisk's" face slightly wavers. It must have been my imagination or wishful thinking because now it seems wider and more murderous. I don't believe this is Frisk. That caring and loving person would never do anything like this.  
Toriel falls to her knees. She looks up at "Frisk" and lets out a choked chuckle, "I realize now that I wasn't protecting you from them; I was protecting them from you."  
All "Frisk" does is laugh in response, "Yes, that's right and you were too weak to stop me. Now, I'm going to kill everyone you care about. Now turn to dust and never be remembered."  
"Frisk" walks past Toriel to the exit of the Ruins. Toriel gives one last smile, "The funny thing is, I still love you." I watch her crumble to a pile of dust. I blink and the images fade. I didn't notice the tears that start to fall as my anger builds.  
I hear the scraping of the Ruins opening. I harness this anger to stand against this torrent of fear that I feel. I prepare to confront "Frisk". I see them come into sight through the white snow. Now that I'm able to see their LV, that fear skyrockets. They are already LV 3. If I leave them be, they could get as high as me. If I try to stop them now, I would surely win. What would be the point? I don't see the point anymore. No matter what I do, they are going to do what they will do. I've lost another person that I love and I can't do anything to fix this.  
They stop in front of me. They have a murderous smile like before. I feel like I'm gonna have a bad time. I see the glint of iridescent light off the dust-covered blade in "Frisk's" hand as they move forward. I can hear their footsteps crunch in the snow. A sickening feeling forms in the pit of my stomach. I can't place my finger bone on it. It makes me want to run and hide. It makes me want to give up, to give in.  
Terror. I am terrified of the person I love the most in this world. Is it really them? I've really gotten to know Frisk over the past month. The whole time, they were the most peaceful person ever. Even when Undyne tried to kill them, they wouldn't raise a hand against her out of anger or fear. What changed in them? What happened that made them do this? There has to be something.  
"Frisk" stops suddenly. They are a few feet from me. That murderous smile still plastered across their face. That terror wells up and I use all my willpower to not run. If I don't try to get answers now, I never will.  
I take a deep breath to settle my nerves, "Alright, Frisk, you have some explaining to do. Why are you doing all of this? What do you get out of killing everyone now?"  
"Frisk” just keeps smiling that smile that will haunt my dreams. There is a cold wind that picks up the loose snow at their feet. I don't even notice they moved until they are next to me. I hear their voice whisper through the air, "Because, Sansy, I want to see you suffer like I have."  
They continue on to Snowdin. Each footstep I hear on the bridge makes a weight appear on my shoulders. Why? How? When? Why did you choose me to make suffer? How are you going to make me suffer? When did you suffer so much? The final footfall makes my knees collapse. Again, I find the always catching ground there to catch my limp body. For some reason, my will slips through my fingers and my crumbling world goes white and cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for some WingDings!!!!!!!!


	4. Lost Friends Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans finds someone he would rather forget but could he be of some help in beating "Frisk"? You will have to find out in Chapter 5: Training Begins

I’m floating in an unfeeling void. I can’t feel warm the or cold. I can’t hear anything. I open my eyes to see nothing but black. I’m not standing on anything; yet, I know there is something there. I blink several times, trying to figure out where I am and what happened. My left eye still burned but it’s a dull reminder of what I saw. I remember Toriel’s death and Frisk’s comment. My heart still aches from just thinking about it. What am I going to tell Asgore? Then I remember them walking toward town… Oh no.  
They were walking toward town! “Papyrus!” I try to move but I feel like I’m being held by something. I feel sluggish. Then, I hear this water droplet sound. Somehow, I’m able to turn around or the figure moves into my view. What I see, I don’t believe. Standing before me is a friend I wish stayed gone. His features have changed but it’s still him. His face and body look like it’s melting. The ever-familiar scars running up from his left eye and down from his right. His slow breathing sounds more like a wheeze. His normal lanky body is nothing but a blob now. My mouth displays a frown. “Dr. Gaster. What did you do?” I say with a venomous anger.  
This man is the reason my left eye doesn’t work and why Papyrus has trust issues. Gaster did experiments on us when we were little. Lucky for us, there was an accident in his lab and it split his existence throughout time and space. This caused everyone to forget him. It seems that everyone but me has forgotten him. Everyone but me and Asgore. Papyrus has nightmares about what he did. He doesn’t know who that man is. I don’t tell him Gaster’s name because I’m afraid that he will remember him. I just want to forget him. It seems like I will never escape his grasp.  
Now that I think about it, how is he here? Where is here? Gaster gives me a watery chuckle, “Well it seems like you still remember me.”  
His voice sounds like he was trying to gargle water and talk to me at the same time. I still remember the font that he used to talks in. Not many know of it. I give him a cold stare, “How could I forget the father that took half my sight from me?”  
Gaster’s crooked grin disappears, “I also see that you have forgotten your purpose. You were not created to play house with humans. You were meant to kill every last one of them. How long did you think you could ignore that little fact?”  
I sigh. I may want to forget but it seems the world won’t let me. Gaster created me at the King’s request. Gaster had to create Papyrus after he realized I was damaged goods. This was a time after Chara’s and Asriel’s deaths, the children of the royal family. The king was angry at the humans for killing his children. He decided to create a monster army that has the ‘determination’ to destroy the human race.  
“Asgore released us from that after you shattered. He didn’t see how he could make it happen when the head scientist disappeared from everyone’s memories. He collected your research on us and destroyed it. I’m going to be honest with you, I was hoping to never have to think about it again,” I say without looking at him.  
I remember Gaster having a terrible temper. Especially when someone messed with his research notes. So, when I hear a soft sigh, I’m taken by surprise. His face looks like he has rage boiling beneath the surface of his bones. His voice is still calm and collected, “Good ole king fluffy buns was never good at staying on a murderous path. I guess it was to be expected.”  
I’m shocked, “What are you talking about? We have six human souls. We need just one more.”  
Now it’s Gaster’s turn to look shocked. His expressions are hard to read. It looks like anger and confusion, “Did he kill them?”  
Asgore killed most of them. I don’t want to give him the satisfaction that I’ve killed a few too. The question takes me by surprise, “What do you mean? Who else would do it? He didn’t want to put that burden on anyone else.”  
Gaster sighs into his hands, covering his face. I can still see his face through the holes in his hands. He never explained to me how he got those but I have some theories. The most likely being that since me and Papyrus are clones, then he took some of the bone in his hand to make us. I’m not sure why Gaster got so upset. It’s not that big of a deal. Me, Undyne, and Asgore have all killed at least once. I’ve increased my love. Asgore has the most because Undyne and I have almost slipped into a depressive state after we have. I guess there is a reason why he is the boss monster.  
Gaster drops his hands, “Asgore promised he wouldn’t do something so… Drastic. I don’t want him to Fall Down. Now that I know that he has lost everything, I fear for him even more. Do you remember what I told you about when a monster Falls Down?”  
I give him a blank look. I don’t remember much from when I was a kid. I think I blocked most of those memories or lost them when Gaster shattered himself.  
“Oh, I guess you wouldn’t. When a monster Falls Down, they lose the ability to hold their form together. This causes them to die a slow and painful death. They basically lose the will to live. Monsters have bodies made up of magic. Without the will to live, monsters lose their physical forms and die.”  
I nod my head, taking mental notes. It’s all coming back to me now. There were also other research subjects but they all died. Well, Fell Down to be more like it. I have the most determination out of all the test subjects. That’s why I can’t Fall Down. Papyrus can’t either. He has more health than me because his magic accepts the determination. Mine fights it. That’s why my HP is 1 and I’m so small. I hate to admit it but it’s true. I’m small because my body hates itself. It does nothing for my crippling depression that is always lurking in the back of my mind.  
“Ah, now I remember.” I say jokingly.  
I hear a growl deep in Gaster’s throat. I instinctively flinch from all the times I pushed Gaster too far. I might have joked at the wrong time. Gaster just sighs instead, “Sans. This is no time to joke around. What do you think would happen to the underground if Asgore died?”  
Anger wells up. I know what would happen. Monsters would lose hope and Fall. I don’t want that to happen. “You know that I joke when I’m nervous. I would have thought that all your research would have told you that,” I snap back.  
Gaster looks surprised by my outburst. Then, his eye sockets narrow. I fear for my life but then I try and think if he can kill me here; where ever here is. Gaster sighs for the millionth time, “Sans, why do you still hold that over me? You know that I was only following orders.”  
“Yes, I do. You didn’t have to do that in-depth of an analysis to your own children! Do you know how much you hurt us, day after day? How much we yearned for a pleasant touch from you. Can you imagine what it feels like to want to kill the person who gave you life?” I seethe.  
“I’m not your Father. There is a difference there. Fathers have share a DNA with their children that make them a paternal donor. Scientist don’t use things like ‘emotions’ and ‘feelings’ when evaluating their subject.”  
How stubborn can this man be? I feel like I have finally crossed the line of no return. Too late to turn back now. I want some answers and this is the only time I will get them. I prepare myself, “I have your DNA! I came from you! If not your son, then just what am I to you then?” I scream.  
I expected my voice to echo in this space but the sound dies almost as soon as it leaves my mouth. The darkness that surrounds us and our past swallows it up. Gaster’s face goes through several different colors before he speaks again, “You are a poor clone of me that means nothing to me. Some for Papyrus. You two are a disappointment. You completely left what I created you for. Asgore may have released you but I have not.”  
I half expected Gaster to start screaming. He didn’t though. He kept his voice even and calm. I don’t know what’s scarier, Gaster screaming or Gaster calm. Neither is very good. I continue digging the hole I’ve dug. “If I mean nothing to you, then why am I here? Why did you bring me here? If you wanted me to obey, then why did you give me free will?” I scream again.  
I think I surprised him slightly by that last question. When I was Younger, I would never have talked back to him. Now is a different story. I am tired of being afraid of this man. I have the strength to fight back and defend myself.  
A different kind of anger washes over Gaster’s face, self-inflicted anger and sadness, before he turns away. “Because I couldn’t figure out any other way. I couldn’t create you without your will. I just don’t know how. It is my most defining failure.”  
Gaster clenches his fists by his sides. What could he mean? Is what he’s saying be true? Could the all mighty Gaster not know something?  
“Why would us not having a will benefit you? Our will is what you wanted, wasn’t it?” My anger is building again but I keep it in check.  
Gaster spins around, “What would you know about what we were researching?”  
His face is pinched into a tight scowl. I laugh in his face. I can’t help it. Gaster acts so childish when someone shows him up. I’m bent over grabbing my side from the pain of laughing so hard, “I’m… sorry. I haven’t laughed… that hard since… the dog fell… down the stairs. Let me explain what I meant. When dealing with determination, it is directly tied to ones will. In this case, it’s the will to live past the point of normal death. You were trying to make sure we didn’t fight you but there is a simpler fix to that. Make it to where we liked you and we wouldn’t have fought you. Children have simplistic minds that can be easily manipulated.”  
The more I talked, the wider Gaster’s eyes got. I guess he didn’t think about that. Serves him right. Gaster looks like he is thinking something over. A defeated look comes over his face. “How long did it take you to come up with that? When did you come up with that?”  
“When I was little. After you ‘died’, I got ahold of your notes and research before Asgore destroyed them. I had to learn what some of the words meant but now I can read almost any book. I did it to try and understand why you did what you did. To be honest, I still don’t understand but I’ve become a scientist, just like you.” I look down. I haven’t become exactly like him but I am a scientist.  
“I see. Then I think I can actually explain this to you. The reason why I brought you here.” Gaster waves his hands.  
My eyes widen as a mirror appears in front of him. At first, I just see myself but then the image shifts and I see Frisk walking through the out skirts of Snowdin. I watch them kill a snowdrake. Anger boils in my marrow. I’ve got to stop them. I don’t have any other choice. “Gaster, send me home. Now.” I say fiercely.  
Gaster moves the mirror so he can give me a look. “Are you insane? You want me to send you back so you can just die? Not a chance. I need you to stop them. That’s why I brought you here. I can’t leave this place to stop them myself. Only you can do it.” Gaster, almost, screams at him.  
I don’t know what to think. Is he telling the truth or just trying to keep me here? I sigh, “What if they kill Papyrus? What if they kill everyone?”  
“How far they get is up to you. How long it takes you to get this right depends on when you go back,” Gaster says, calm now.  
I’m confused for the millionth time today. Did he bring me here to train me? Or does he have some ulterior motive? I raise my eyebrow at him, a gesture only he could tell, “Get what right?”  
“I’m going to teach you something that I came up with no one else knows about. This will be difficult but you must embrace why you were created. Return to those human killing roots.” Gaster dodges my questions.  
The mirror disappears and I’m left looking at Gaster’s ugly face. I’m starting to get pissed off with this old man, “Stop being all philosophical and just tell me what it is, damn it!”  
Gaster gives a wicked grin, “A Gaster Blaster.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own the rights to undertale. All rights go to Toby Fox. Please support the official game. Please do not post anywhere else without my permission. Thank you. 
> 
> P.S. Sorry for the long hiatus. Will be picking up here soon.


	5. Happiness and Diseases

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans learns some new things about his past that changes the way he views Gaster. Sans need to learn how to summon a Gaster Blast to protect his brother and friends. He is motivated to try his best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for not posting sooner. My life got really complicated and i had a major case of Writers Block. Slowly i am working through that. Other than that, i hope you guys enjoy this new chapter. I worked really hard on it. ^^

I blink. I’ve never heard of that move before. What could that even be? What kind of narcissistic bastard names a move that kills people after himself? I stare at Gaster, waiting for him to explain what a Gaster Blaster is. Minutes pass and I shift my weight from foot to foot. Finally, I have enough, “Are you going to explain what the hell that is or are you going to make me ask?” I spit venomously at Gaster.  
Gaster gives another slight watery chuckle, “You just did.”  
Somehow that seems to tick me off just enough for it to show on my face. Gaster gives another childlike giggle, “It is easier to show you. Just step back, I don’t want you to get caught in the blast.”  
Gaster sighs lightly. He seems almost excited but his face is scrunched up in concentration. It terrifies me to think what this “Gaster Blaster” is if he is excited. I look at Gaster’s hands first. They are balled into tight fists. I glace back at his face. His face scrunches up into a scowl of exertion. I swear the cracks on his face widen by a huge margin. In the darkness of those cracks, blue and orange lights flash in no particular order. It is rare for a skeleton to have two colors to their souls. Only strong ones have multiple. Papyrus and I get our colors from Gaster.  
Since I am lost in thought, I didn’t realize that Gaster has summoned the Gaster Blaster, a large animal-like skull. It floats next to him and a strange noise, like a purr, come from it. I react badly by summoning bones and hurtling them into the darkness with a less than manly scream. The skull moves quickly toward me and starts to growl.  
“What the hell is this?” I manage to squeeze out before the Gaster Blaster closes the distance.  
I dare not speak more. The Gaster Blaster is inches from my face. I can see the piercing, white eyes of the thing bore into me. It’s like it knows me and I know it. Before things could escalate further, Gaster comes next to the skull. He runs a hand down it’s forehead, effectively calming it, “It is probably the greatest achievement of my career, a Gaster Blaster. Well, that is aside from you and your brother. That is beside the point. I will teach you how to summon and control this. I don’t think you realize but this skull is alive. You will summon something that is alive. Don’t ever forget that.”  
Gaster’s pause in his speech seems to be to let me process what he just said. It’s alive? I can actually summon that? On top of that, it is alive! Gaster is so calm about this. It almost seems surreal. First, the fact that Gaster is here, and second, the fact that he is teaching me something. I’ve wanted him to teach me since I was little. That is why I tried to become a scientist; hoping that one day he would look at me without anger or annoyance. I hope I don’t disappoint him.  
I blink and look back at Gaster. Instead, the Gaster Blaster is staring back at me. I don’t move or jump. I stand there, feeling the emotions shifting through its white, glowing eyes. It looked like a mix of sorrow and happiness. I feel a warmth spread through my cold bones. What is this feeling? It’s the feeling I get when I’m around Papyrus. How can I feel love for something I just met? I know it’s not for Gaster.  
“Gaster, what is this? Why do I feel like I know this?” I say in a shaky voice as I raise an equally shaky hand to place on the skull’s forehead.  
“Who do you think that is?” Gaster asks calmly.  
“I thought it was just a manifestation of your soul at first. Then you told me it was alive. Now, I’m not so sure. I feel like it knows me. I sense happiness and sorrow but I feel love in my bones the loner I look at it,” I say, rambling in a daze.  
The Gaster Blaster purrs softly as I touch its forehead. This is such a strange feeling. It feels like I know who this is and their name is just on the edge of my teeth. It’s driving me crazy Who is it I’m thinking of? I can her a female voice laughing. I can feel her arms wrapping around me; warming and soothing me. I feel like I’m going to cry. I look to Gaster, “Who is this?”  
Gaster sighs dejectedly, “I guess it can’t be helped. To make things simpler for you, I will explain it in terms you will understand. Since you deem me as your father, this would be your mother. This Gaster Blaster is the manifestation of my wife; who gave a portion of her magic to give you and Papyrus life. Soon after doing so, she fell ill and I couldn’t cure her. Her health dropped and there was no amount of experiments that would help her. Just before you two were truly “born”, she knew her time was going to be short with you two. She tried to be a parent to you both but I couldn’t see you that way, no matter how I tried. You should have a few memories of her and they should all be pleasant.  
“I’m sorry that you didn’t get spend much time with her. She was an amazing woman. She seemed to just bright up the room. You couldn’t help but love her. There is nothing I love more in this world than her. I now see why she felt like she need to be a mother to you. Between the two of us, we gave you life. You two are really brothers. I tried to deny it for so long. Being trapped in this place made me realize that I was wrong. You are the closest thing I will get to a family. That really all I ever truly wanted but I couldn’t see it even when it was right in front of me the whole time. I was a fool and I want to apologize. You now know everything about your past. Everything I was keeping from you. You have a mother that you didn’t know about.”  
Gaster’s face shifts from sadness to a more melancholy look as he continued to talk about my mother. She seems to be a wonderful person. As Gaster was talking, memories began to surface from the recess of my mind. Everything is starting to come back. It is almost strange that I hid these memories from myself. I lied to myself most of my life. I guess losing my mom was hard on me. I tend to try and forget things that hurt me. I try to forget and move on. There is so many questions that I want to ask but I can’t pick which one to say first. How is this possible? Do you know what she died of? Could me or Papyrus have the same thing? I look to Gaster to answer my unasked questions.  
It seems Gaster could read my questions on my face. He clears his throat, “I figured you would react this way. I guess I will have to explain everything before we move on. I need you completely focused. Your mother had a disease called magic poisoning. It is basically where her own magic becomes toxic to the body. She slowly had her body destroy itself till she turned to dust. I didn’t know about it when I took a portion of her magic but I figured it out when I was running test on you. You unfortunately have the same disease but to the same extent. I was able to make it to where you can still use magic but limit how much you can use. This is why you only have one hit point. When your eye exploded, it was also a side effect of me trying to help you. You thought I was doing cruel experiments on you. I was not. I was trying to keep the thing me and Ariel, your mother, created alive.  
“I never would have used her magic if I had known. I was having trouble stabilizing you and Papyrus. She suggested that I add another monsters magic. She wanted to use hers. I feel like she did that because we had been trying to have children for years. We were never successful. I guess I understand why now. Is there anything else bothering you that you need to ask?”  
I blink. Gaster just threw a lot of information at me. I don’t even have to think and process it all. Things swirl around my head and a flurry of emotions and pain. It hurts but feels good to know that Gaster did care about us. That he wasn’t all bad. I just misunderstood as a child. Everything makes a little more sense now to me. Looking back, Gaster did take care of us. Everything that I thought was an experiment, wasn’t really. My whole view of Gaster has changed now I know why he was doing all those things. Yes, some of those things hurt but it was to help me survive.  
I shake my head no and Gaster nods, “Good. We don’t have much time. I didn’t expect to take this much time talking but it need to be said. We need to start your training. Now that you have seen me summon a Gaster Blaster, I need you to summon it. It is okay if you don’t get it the first time. We can work you up to actually summoning it if need be. Now let’s get started.”  
I’m still a little overwhelmed but I nod. I drop my hand from the skull and I pull a cigarette out of my pocket to help settle my nerves. Ever since Toriel died, I’ve been itching for one of these. God, why did have to think about that. My hand starts to shake again. Why is Frisk doing all this? What did I do to upset them? Why did they have to reset? Things were going fine. Yeah, they had died a few times but they always respawned. Does that still apply? Can I even kill them? If not, how do I make them give up the path they have chosen? I finish my cigarette and put it out. I put the butt in my jacket pocket out of habit. Papyrus doesn’t like me smoking so I try and hid the butts from him. Whatever make Papyrus happy.  
That is right. I’m doing this to protect Papyrus. I’m doing to stop frisk from harming anyone else. I’m doing this to save them. I take a deep breath and let it out. I look back at Gaster, “Alright. I think I’m ready now. How do I summon a Gaster Blaster?”  
Gaster looks a little skeptical but goes on to explain, “When a monster dies, their physical bodies turn to dust. The magic is released into the air. Really powerful monsters are able to survive after death. What you have to do is think about that monster and draw on your own power to summon them. It can be dangerous but I believe that you can do it.”  
Gaster looks at me intently to see my reaction. He seems satisfied as my heart swells. I know that last bit was to boost my moral but it worked. I feel like I could break the Barrier. I guess he really does care for me and knows what he is doing. I give Gaster a genuine smile, “Let’s do this and then go save my brother!”


	6. Announcement

Okay, I think I owe you all an explanation for what has been going on. I have been very busy working three jobs and working on my schooling. I will be reworking the chapters and adding new content to them. So please stay tuned for the updates. I have kind of hit a writer's block of sorts. I don't remember where I was trying to go with the story and I don't like what I explained the Gaster Blasters. So, with that, I decided that a rework was necessary. Thank you guys for all your patience with me. If you would like to see my playthrough of Deltarune, please visit my Youtube channel, Flowey Powey. I talk a little bit about some theories and the new theories that have popped up because of this demo. I will explain everything in the videos and my stories will feature some of the theories as well. So if you don't know about them, I suggest that you look into them or play through more undertale to find them for yourself. I wish you humans all the LOVE in the world and I hope your execution points stay low!

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for my lack of terrible puns in this. This story would be a lot better if I was better at puns. Send me some if you would like to make my puns better. I am open to anything. I will try to work your puns into the story. I plan on posting as soon as I get the next chapter done. I am currently very close to finals so it might be a little. I am sorry that it will take me a while. Thanks for your patience. 
> 
> Love ya guys! Until next time!


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